Thursday, August 31, 2006

Why Conservatives are better than Liberals


Ok, this is a sweeping generalization. And the premise I am about to present is hypothetical. So this post is disqualified on two points already. But if you have watched the interchanges between Conservatives and Liberals(um, Progressives?) over the past 30 years, if you are honest, you will get my point. Especially if you have listened to the discourse since the 2000 U.S. Presidential Election, and you keep your knee from jerking in defense, you might understand.

Here's my third disqualifier Liberals are idiotic fools, another sweeping generalization.

Idiotic because they have let their emotions, hatred for Bush, rule over their brain. Anything that makes Bush look bad is good, anything that makes Bush look good is wrong and a conspiracy. Another thing that fuels their idiocy is the 2000 U.S. Presidential Election. They can't get over it. They wallow in it, and view the future only as it relates to the Election.

So if the stock market goes up, it shows that BushCo is making filthly lucre from the deaths of American soldiers. If the stock market goes down, it shows how incompetent Bush is as an economic leader. The world is suddenly very simple. Bad badness and good goodness. No one has mixed motives. Nothing is complicated. And these people are supposedly the intellectuals.

They are fools because they have let their hatred put them on the wrong side of the Global War On Terror. The terrorists will never surrender, never stop trying to kills up. Perhaps not until this generation has passed away. The fools would rather diminish the GWOT, because Bush is for it, than agree that the terrorists, not Bush, are the true enemy of democracy.

But you have heard this conservative rant many times before. Here's something you might not have heard. Here's why Conservatives are better than Liberals. You see Liberals hate Bush and by extension all Conservatives. We Conservatives are stupid, and evil. Every single one of us. According to Liberals there is a special place in Hell for us. They would have loved if Bill O'Reilly had been one of the Fox people kidnapped in the Middle East.

Still maybe a rant you've heard, so here's the shocker. Conservative love Liberals. We really do. There is no amount a ridicule a Liberal can heap upon us that will destroy that love. If a Conservative soldier is dying in battle, no expression of hatred will diminish his/her love for Liberals.

How could this be, you ask?

When Liberals will dance with glee on the grave of George Bush, why would Conservatives not do the same with say John Kerry.

But it is true, we would not. We love John Kerry.

We are dismayed by many things he does, but we love him.

Why do we love him?

Because Conservatives believe Liberals are also something else.

Conservatives believe John Kerry is a Liberal second.

And an American Citizen, first and foremost.

And Conservatives love American Citizens, first and foremost.

And that's why Conservatives are better than Liberals.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Paranoia watch


Thom Hartmann has a silly piece on the ruling by Taylor and developements in the Jonbent case.
http://www.commondreams.org/views06/0829-21.htm
Thom lays it out like this:

It probably took Judge Anna Diggs Taylor around a week to wrap up the wording of her decision, and if the NSA were spying on her without a warrant, the timing of sending off a Boulder agent just in time to generate a sensational headline a week later would be no problem.

Gosh Thom, I know you hate Bush, and can't get over the 2000 Presidential election, but when is your brain gonnna kick in. If Rove was doing anything like what you are talking about, there would be no Air America, you couldn't publish your best sellers, and liberal blogs would be scarcer than hairspray at a Global Warming convention.
Yah Goof.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Losing Democratic Tactic #7 - Overemphasize your point

The same tired cliches, this time from Kevin Spidel, PDA National Deputy Director:
http://www.pdamerica.org
the hijacking of our Democracy, and the reign of Bush & Company,

Hey, you're progressive (not liberal, that's dirty), we know you don't like Bush and war and his surveillance program. But "hijacking"? If there really was a hijacking the Woodwards and Bersteins would be racking up Pulitzers like crazy. When you talk like that you look silly. The title of this piece is "TAKE BACK THE U.S. HOUSE". Folks ain't gonna help sillies take back the house.

Losing Democratic Tactic #9 - Insult voters

Atrios has a new spin on this:
most of what we think of as "swing voters" are either completely clueless...

And, no, saying people are clueless about politics is not necessarily insulting them.

But don't bother using clear language. Lazily grouping the swing voters in the clueless category is just fine. Doing so inspires them to vote democratic. I'm grateful to Atrios for the grammar update.
Heh.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Democratic Underground Litmus Test


DUers must Revere Nance Greggs!
Until today I have never seen anyone criticize her. Here is the nasty comment:

18 Million Purple Thumbs Was Thanks Enough
People everywhere just wanna be free.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=132&topic_id=2793507&mesg_id=2793912
Hmm, I don't think that's so mean. True DUer KiKi jumped on poor Radiophile:

How anyone can read the OP article and then come out with the (____)you're spewing amazes and disgusts me. I would say you should be ashamed, but we all know that Bush supporters have no shame.

enjoy your brief and unappreciated stay.

Ninkasi:
You might benefit from some kind of psychiatric help right now

Nance herself frequently participates in the groupthink comments, but so far is silent to this "criticism"

Remember all DUers must be anti-Iraq war. All DUers must deny anything good happening in Iraq whilst GWB is in office. They will change this policy if a Democrat wins the presidency. Brains and critical thinking are not needed at Democratic Underground.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Bad news for Jon Stewart

He might want to get a restraining order against this sick DU child:


jonstewartgirl (16 posts)
Mon Aug-14-06 04:58 PMResponse to Reply #115
131. *prays*
please I hope it was O'Reilly that got kidnapped oh sorry did I say that outloud :p


But I don't question her patriotism

Dream Sequence #2


From Earl at DU:
http://journals.democraticunderground.com/EarlG/71

Joe Lieberman beats Ned Lamont and wins the Senate seat in Connecticut.Early in 2007, Don Rumsfeld quits as Secretary of Defense.George W. Bush offers the job to Lieberman, who accepts.Connecticut's Gov. Jodi Rell (R) appoints a Republican to fill Joe's vacated Senate seat until 2008.Result: George W. Bush gets a "bipartisan" Secretary of Defense, and the Republican party gets a free Senate seat in Connecticut - a seat which they didn't even contest in the 2006 elections.

He says this like its a bad thing!

Friday, August 18, 2006

Things Thomas Jefferson said...

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, the pursuit of Happiness, the right to Attack and Overthrow these colonies without the impediment of legal or military opposition, lest they call us bad names and dislike us.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Kos hypocrisy


http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2006/8/17/171747/891
mcjoan from Kos says:
The program's effectiveness is not what we're debating here--at issue is the program's legality, and this federal judge has declared that it is not. It would be just as effective carried out legally under the provisions of FISA.

Now lemme get this straight.
If Bush had carried out this program under the provisions of FISA dailykos would be overflowing with praise and admiration for the great work of the Bush administration?

Yeah right.

You'd be screaming the same things you are screaming now.
Illegal! Unconstitutional! Big Brother!

Just take your win graciously. Don't load it up with liberal hypocrisy.

Losing Democratic Tactic #8 - Savage your own


From listenhillary.org

These folks are anti-war, (I'm guess not Republicans), and anti Hillary. Their chant?

"It takes one bomb to raze a village"

If I was Hillary, I'd be ticked.

If I was the head of the RNC, I'd be happy.

Nancy Pelosi Indictment Watch (Satire)

The calls for Nancy's incarceration are building. On Daily Kos mcjoan lets Pelosi have it with both barrels:
In sum, it is a devastating and categorical rejection of (Nancy Pelosi and) the Bush administration's attempt to overturn our Constitution.
Parenthesis mine

Who knows what she got in exchange for her approval of the program October 1st. It looks like Jesse Jackson is next!

Indict Pelosi Now!


Now that a Federal judge has removed all doubt about Bush's illegal surveillance program, it's time to indict him and his co-conspirators (Cindy Sheehan???). By Peolosi's own admission she is merely "concerned" about the raping of the Bill of Rights:

Dear General Hayden:
During your appearance before the committee on October 1, you indicated that you had been operating since the September 11 attacks with an expansive view of your authorities with respect to the conduct of electronic surveillance under the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act and related statutes, orders, regulations, and guidelines. You seemed to be inviting expressions of concern from us,...

...Until I understand better the legal analysis regarding the sufficiency of the authority which underlies your decision on the appropriate way to proceed on this matter, I will continue to be concerned.
Sincerely,
NANCY PELOSI
Ranking Democrat

I do but jest. But don't look for any criticism of her from the left, it will be a fruitless search

Losing Democratic Tactic #7 - Overemphasize your point


Leahy's spokesman, David Carle, combated the perception that Republicans have kept America safe through their actions in Iraq. "The gross mismanagement of the war in Iraq has handed the terrorists the biggest recruiting and training ground they have ever had, making us less secure than before," he said.

Biggest ever. So big you can see it from plane and satellites. Bush must not want to take it out to keep us terrified. Heh.

I predict when the voter pulls the handle, they will think about whether we had any Post 9/11 attacks on U.S. soil. God willing, there won't be any more.

Losing Democratic Tactic #6 - Ridicule the (Republican) President


"Bush stark raving mad"
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=364&topic_id=1927796&mesg_id=1927796

The reason for his madness? Not policy or ideology, but bicycling habits.

This pettiness puts more votes in the R column.

Stuff you won't see on the Daily Kos


"The Nahrawan Irrigation Project In Baghdad Province Was Completed ... The Project Provides Irrigation Water To Farmers In Order To Better Utilize Over 37,000 Acres Of Agricultural Land ..." (U.S. Dept. Of State, "Iraq Weekly Status Report," http://www.state.gov/documents/organization/70365.pdf, 8/9/06)

This is just politics as usual.

I question the timing.

Losing Democratic Tactic #2 - Deny the war on terror


From AuntiePinko at DU:
In the mean time, Levin, take the reportage about terrorist threats with both a healthy cynicism and a healthy respect

Cynicism and respect? Can you say oxymoron? Hmm, maybe there's a per centage thing going on here. 60% cynicism, is that progressive enough? Please publish the correct liberal ratio. Do I wait to take action when actual pieces of concrete have gone beyond bruising my body and are breaking the skin?

Is cynicism recommended for "terror" attacks? What's the recommended cynicism level for "9/11"?

But don't worry, if you get blown up because of your authorized cynicism, AuntiePinko will... will....

Oh, I guess you are outta luck.

Auntie Pinko won't take responsibility for her bad advice.

She'll blame Bush.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Losing Democratic Tactic #5 - Run as the "Party of Death"

From the NYT:
Mr. Schiavo flew to Connecticut last month to help Ned Lamont, who defeated Senator Joseph I. Lieberman in the Democratic primary.

What's next? Campaign ads with Kevorkian popping Mentos? Creepy.

Dream Sequence #1


Joe Liberman wins the 2006 Connecticut Senatorial contest as an independent. Once in office, Joe changes his party affiliation back to Democrat. Joe then gains support from the moderate Democrats, and wins the nomination as the 2008 Democratic Presidential candidate.

One month later the following exchange is heard at the office water cooler:
"Have you been to Kos lately?"
"Naw, what's the point."

Losing Democratic Tactic #4 - Run against (blank), not for something.


http://www.mydd.com/story/2006/8/15/133831/421 Matt Stoller at mydd has got it all twisted around. He's mad because people are saying the Democrats have no message. Then he goes on to lay out the great Contract with America. No, wait that was the Republicans, they fufilled their contract when a Democrat held the presidency. Anyway, he's says Bush is in charge, and infers that the Democrats would take control of congress, and do nothing but stop Bush from "screwing things up more." I love that slogan. "Put us in charge, we have almost no power!"

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Losing Democratic Tactic #2 - Deny the war on terror


"[T]he war on terror cannot be won." (George Soros, Op-Ed, "A Self-Defeating War," The Wall Street Journal, 8/15/06)

Please turn out in huge numbers and vote for the "can't win" party. Now there is inspiration.

Losing Democratic Tactic #3 - Label Republicans as racist


For that matter, BobcatJH labels the whole U.S.A. as racist on DU

A nation of George Allens

Hey, everyone, did you hear? A Republican put his foot in his mouth, coming out of the closet as the racist most had suspected him to be.


...his actions only represent the latest in a long line of examples of life in Republican America.

Is Bobcat coming out of the closet as well?

Losing Democratic Tactic #2 - Deny the war on terror


Nancy Greggs From Democratic Underground:

Over the past few weeks, I keep hearing Republicans saying that it’s important for all of us, especially voters, to understand who is taking the War on Terror seriously, and who is not. Well, put me in the ‘not’ column. Actually, put me in the ‘not a snowball’s chance in hell I’m taking this seriously’ column.

This is not a parody. I've read many of Nancy's columns, and I have never seen anyone disagree with her.
Wow.

Culture of Corruption vs Weak on Terror





In the Slogan fight for 2006 congressional election, the edge goes to the Republicans. Average Joe can live with a little money being exchanged under the table. Average Joe can't live when he's, uh, dead.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Losing Democratic Tactic #1 - Mock the war on terror

Kossack SusanG contributes to the Republican 2006 Congressional effort

While we're at it, confiscate phones, all of them. Landlines, cells ... whatever. Shut down the internet.

This worked so well in 2004, 2002. Stay with what works.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Howard Dean "Tough, Smart"


Howard said he's smart. After telling us that a Democratically controlled government can fight an effective war on terror, make the middle class economically "safe", give money to kids, to go to college, build perpetual motion engines, and create a cool new planet in our solar system. I hope he is the only person left that thinks any government can give, and do, all things to all people. But then maybe he doesn't care about truth. Us grownups remember hearing this bunk from Jimmy Carter. I will give him one thing, he talked like he was absolutely convinced what he was saying was true.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Global Testing! (Is this thing on?)


The problem with the pure diplomacy route? You have to:
1) Implore the murderers to be nice.
2) Endure their attacks with stoicism ("This is the better way in the long run.")
3) Wait for the current generation to die, because they will never respect, understand, or stop killing us. ("15 years of bloodshed for a 1000 years of peace is worth it!)
4) Contiunously whisper Godot's Prayer:

"Dear Energy Force,
Please let the children of the murderers disregard the indoctrination of their parents. Make them like us.